I think I died a long time ago.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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