that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
