Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
