She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
