It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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