she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
