if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
