that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
