Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
