She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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