just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
