i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's blow job season.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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