I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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