using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
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Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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