I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
