More tranny stories later!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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