This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
