is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
