New invention idea: vibrating tampons
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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