she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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