pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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