it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize