24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
