"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Someone came in the potted fern
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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