That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
