If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
