the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
