trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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