first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
