I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
