I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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