I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
