I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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