Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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