when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wish my penis had a tongue
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
