Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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