It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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