What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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