That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
