yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
