Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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