She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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