I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize