We're facebook friends in real life
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
