ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Who died my cat blue again?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
