I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
