At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So. Much. Porn.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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