remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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