I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
