Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
