evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
