is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
