What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
