He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
