Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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