so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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