Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
